Many persons have asked themselves why their partner cheats and some are probably still asking the question. In the past and of late there have been many movies which have centered on this topic and maybe “one or two” of us have actually experienced it at some point in life. I remember once being told that you have not lived until you have been cheated on and from the time I heard it up until now, I have found it funny. Beyond my bouts of laughter, I often wonder if it is a new rule in life where we all have to be cheated on but I think that we all have the control to stop it. Recently the subject of cheating came up during one of our many lunchtime discussions. You can probably imagine my astonishment when I was told that cheating is now being called “sharing”. Before I could understand this, I was told that it is also referred to as “lending assistance” – I was flabbergasted. Never in my life have I heard such utter rubbish.
As a young lady I would hate someone to ask me to share either myself or them with another. As it stands I cannot share a piece of chicken without experiencing heartburn and you would want me to share my lover with you as well – NO. On the other hand, there are some who would probably step to a man knowing full well that he has another but how dare you assist his lady without first putting yourself in her situation. I must admit, I know that we have no control over who comes into our relationship to assist us but there must be some degree of respect no matter how miniscule for the other person involved. This new way of having a relationship is not for me at all and I don’t think that it is right. I am a hopeless romantic and there is nothing that you can say to make me change my outlook. Would you rather be a spare in a relationship or would you rather be a committed partner? I think that being in a relationship with a person does not necessarily make them your property but at the same time it is a mark of respect to remain faithful with them. A relationship can be much more than sex and satisfaction as it is centered on trust and with each day it is built into something more by conversation and harmony. For many of us, a relationship is a step closer to marriage where you grow together as a couple and share each others life. I think the concept of sharing which we learnt about as children has crept into our adult lives and has been blown out of proportion by those who practice it. Are you for it or against it?
Anyhow back to my topic, why do men or women cheat, lend assistance or share? As a woman you would think that I could give a long list but I can’t. I can give you some but I am not fortunate to know the full list but I am aware of the ones that head the list. The main reason why a woman cheats is because of hurt; there was probably a time when she was hurt by a man who professed to love her but never practiced it. Women relish when they are the center of a man’s world and most of the time, many women do not understand why male friends take more precedence than they do. Most men seem not to realize that there is nothing that a woman doesn’t see and remember. She sees how her man may smile and pant when a pretty lady passes by, how his expression changes whenever a “friend” calls and even how late he stays at work – even later than the cleaners to get a job done. What you don’t understand is that by doing these things you are silently sacrificing the feelings of the woman who loves you. I know that there may be other reasons why women cheat but I know that lack of attention heads the list. I remember a few years ago I met a lady who lived in the US, she told me that her boyfriend of six years told her everyday how ugly she was and that he would cheat on her in an instant. I could not believe what she had told me but I admired her more because she stuck with him and never cheated on him or left him. So even though many may cheat from the lack of attention, some end up loving their partner more in the hopes they would change.